Two iconic quotes for the day:
“We have met the enemy and he is us.” Cartoonist Walt Kelly circa 1970
“It’s the Circle of Life” (using that infamous tune we all learned from the 1994 version of The Lion King) and gee whiz what are we doing? Does the circle move forward or just go around and around without seeing itself, self-correcting and moving forward?
Today, I’m pondering the idea of calling for an all-out campaign for increased awareness in feeding young children. I’m going to go further on that limb and ask that we all become big-time observers – more aware of the food choices we make for kids in their early years. The goal would be to realize how and what we sometimes or often unconsciously feed ourselves and our kids and how some negative relationships with food are formed at the earliest stages of development. The critical issue is that these relationships are often, in fact, introduced, sponsored and cultivated by us – parents – the biggest influences in our children’s lives, at least in the early years.
Question to reflect upon: What is the first thing we do when our little kids fuss or cry in a restaurant, on a plane, in Church or in most situations where we want or need them to be quiet or calm and content, and as quickly as possible? Offer them something to eat that’s often sugary – to divert and soothe. And, when we do this, what association do we unwittingly create? We begin and then reinforce the well-known connection between sugar and pleasure-receptors in their brains. Not exactly one of the teachable moments to hold in high regard. I got into a discussion about this a couple of weeks back.
And so, is it any wonder that as these kids grow up, they begin to self-soothe on their own with junk food. Whether it be candy, soda, fruit loops or other sugar, carb or fat-laden foods, there are many parents, including myself, that have, in moments of embarrassment or desperation, stuck something sugary in their kids mouth in order to try to quiet them down.
I have had this on my mind since that discussion. Over the past week, I had occasion to take 2 flights and stay in a very nice hotel. I took it upon myself, as a self-confessed sugary-self-soother myself, to continue my ongoing bit of informal surveying. There were plenty of kids and parents to observe.
Yesterday morning as I enjoyed my last lovely breakfast, I sat across from a Dad and his two young kids. They were maybe 5 and 3. I watched as this Dad, all alone with a loving and doting look in his eyes, fed his son the equivalent of a box of Frosted Flakes and 2 sugar-glazed donuts. The child was not crying or acting out. They were just having a nice family breakfast together. I couldn’t help looking on in alarm and wonder what could possibly be going on in this Dad’s mind. It was clear that it was nothing other than pure love, from his perspective. It was more than clear on his face.
How many hundreds of other times had I seen this similar picture? How many times had I done something similar myself – unwittingly and somewhat unconsciously and mis-guidely? The selection of highly portable convenience foods that parents carry with them and order for them in high end restaurants is truly appalling. Sugar-laden cereals, candy and soda are among the biggest offenders.
When I boarded my plane for the trip home yesterday, I sat next to two sisters who were flying alone. One was probably 12 and the other was maybe 9-10. Throughout the flight they waded through a succession of sugar laden popcorn, ordered gummy bears and sodas from the snack list and downed a couple of bags of sun chips along the way. Ugh. I had to suppress my desire to see if they’d eat an apple……..
The phrase, “if I only knew then what I know now” ran through my mind. I, too had fed my kids plenty of donuts, and brought Dunkin Munchkins, cupcakes and yes, candy in tow to school for various celebrations. What on earth could I have been thinking back then?
I, of course, have learned much in my 60 years. It all began somewhat innocently. When I was in grammar school, I lived close to a neighborhood grocery store. I could stop on the way home and pick up penny candy, order an ice cream cone, and buy a coke from a machine (back then they had “real” sugar). I spent many happy summers stopping by on the way home from our playground summer program and slurping down on many a pink lemonade popsicle or package of pixie-stix. The school where I attended grades 4-6 was across the street from a Dairy Queen. Need I say more? Need I say that I grew up with a problem with sugar?
I have to say that my Mom, while she baked often, rarely ever gave us candy or donuts. She’d bake chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies for us after school and cakes and pies were always in her repertoire. I know now that I willingly cultivated my own love affair with sugar on my own. And I did a very good job. Aside from causing myself a great deal of dental damage, part of which is a function of heredity and the years before fluoride, I continue to pay the price in this regard. I share these little tidbits of my own experience because I want to make it clear that I am not casting judgment on anyone any more piercingly than on myself.
Today, I am more than 50 years past those years when I was busy treating myself to sugary snacks. And, in that time, particularly over the past few years, we have learned a lot about the trouble with sugar. Obesity is common, and as I watch the population age I work to see clearly the difference between the ability to enjoy one’s years while being fit vs being over weight. Nearly everyone I see with a walker, cane or unsteady gait is overweight. I spent part of the evening on Friday with a man who said his 58 year old wife just had both her knees replaced. I had to wonder if she was overweight or how she came to have a need for 2 new knees at such an early age.
And, as for the circle of life context, as a huge coincidence, I happen to be spending the day at the Mt. Sinai Hospital today. My daughter is upstairs having a plate and some screws put into her ankle. While this is one of the last places I’d like to be – or in any hospital for that matter, I am deeply impressed by the dedication and professionalism that exists here. Having my daughter in a vulnerable situation puts my antenna up in the most acute manner. I am exerting all my energy evaluating and observing every speck of the place and every person who comes into contact with her.
Aside from the bigger issue presently at hand, I am now sitting in the cafeteria and observing hoards of doctors on what would have to be considered their lunch break. I have to tell you that the phrase, “physician, heal thyself” comes zooming into my consciousness as I sit here and watch most of them scoffing down cardboard containers of french fries and carb and fat-laden foods. In fact, the kind doctor who just helped me re-connect to the in-house wifi just downed a huge portion of coated and fried chicken fingers and fries. (I feel guilty spying on him and them). I am amazed and wonder, “what the heck?” Why are these highly astute and brilliantly-educated young people eating fat-laden nutrient-deprived junk foods themselves? And, where did they learn to do that? Is it only because they are all sleep-deprived and overworked, stressed, tired, starving and therefore self-soothing? The interesting thing is – none of them look tired to me. And here is where the point of my post coalesces.
What happens in our country when it comes to eating habits? In the so-called “most-advanced society in the world” we don’t help new parents avoid the big pitfalls of feeding their kids and somehow easily succumb to plying them with sugary or otherwise un-wise treats to quiet and soothe them. We offer them the likes of cheese doodles and m&ms thoughtlessly. Then, the best and brightest of our kids who are fortunate enough to have the interest and commitment to try to and get accepted, go to med school, graduate and then, upon becoming among the top of the crop of physicians anywhere, then feed themselves the likes of junk food when they are hungry. and maybe also tired and stressed. Wow. I find this fascinating and perplexing at the very same time.
Much has begun to been said about the lack of the importance and collateral issues surrounding poor nutrition in our country over the past many years. Most of us would readily offer up that this is more often than not a problem among the poor and undereducated or generally-speaking, people who don’t know any better. But, this is not really true, is it?
Many independent-minded physicians have gone out on their own to try to see clearly the relationships between poor eating habits and disease. Many have dedicated their careers to trying to bridge the gap between classical medical education in this country and the wisdom of eating well. And yet, I can’t help be confounded by the continued lack of consciousness in generally-accepted eating habits in the earliest stages of development and among the most- highly educated people in the medical profession.
As with others, the first step is admitting we have a problem. We as parents, typically have the very best interests of our youngest children at the forefront of priorities in their formative years. We obsess over them in hundreds of ways. Medical schools and hospitals are in this state of being when it comes to teaching and offering healthy food to their highly qualified students and most valuable assets. Surely, we must be able to do a better job than this.